One's Duty towards the Parents

5.05.2011


Sukha matteyyata loke - Ato petteyyata suka (Nagawagga - Dhammapada)


Let me get permission from the Chief incumbent, Ven. Sir, Butawatte Saranankara Maha Nayaka Thero, of Sri Lan
kan Buddhist Vihara, Sentul, MALAYSIA and Dear Dhamma Friends. I'm , for the first time in Malaysia with you and very happy to deliver a Dhamma exposition which is going to be my first.

Our first, topic is "One's duty toward the parents." First of all let me explain the Pali verse bigging with "Sudha matteyyata loke", in this world it is good to
be dutiful to one's mother; "Ato petteyyata sukha", it is good to be dutiful to one'
s father too. The Buddha's explanation is, If one attend his or her father, the best meritorious deed one can perform and will result good and he is a righteous person on this earth.

Dear Dhamma friends, How do we dutiful towards our parents? Why we have to do so? Do we have debt on our parents? According to Singalowada Sutta, a discourse uttered by the Buddha he taught the duty towards one's parents. Those are;

1. Bhato neasm bharissami: - By giving food one must feed one's parents. Every body knows that. That is very clear You don't need much detail about it. I think every body agreed.

2. Kiccan nesam karissami :
- One should provide all other requirements and do other services towards your parents. He/she has to give clothes, shelter, medicine and etc. What ever they need one has to provide. And do the other all services like cleaning, taking care of them etc.

3. Kula wansam tapessami : - Continue and protect and perform the customs and formalities done by the parents and t
heir generation. There are lot of different customs and formalities and in the society. Some time it may have religious value. Any way, if we ta
ke some of the examples to make you understand; there are customs of wedding. When a child is born, there customs. Birth day customs or naming of a child, cutting hair etc. There ar
e customs and formalities bet
ween family members. Such as customs of husband and wife and parents customs towards children and the children customs towards parents etc. Customs also there regarding earning money or livelihood. T
here are funeral customs as well and alms giving in memory of death are some of other exa
mples. There may other customs and formalities than these. These have to be protected and continued by the children. That is the third duty to be done.

4. Dayajjam patipajjami : - The children have to protect and handle and use the property, given by the parents. One cannot say that I've given nothing by the parents. Can a child tell like that? Say No! A child can't say so. You have born into this world because of your parents. They took care about you by feeding, by giving medicine, and giving shelter, by giving clothes etc. They gave you all the necessities. They taught you every thing. Taught you the virtues what is to do and what is not to to and intr
oduced to this society.

How much they worried about you? They did fasting because of you. All the time they recall about you and remember about you. Do not
forget that they have been teased and tortured by you mentally and physically. Don't forget that the mother has fed you with mild; a product of her blood. Father work hard and earned money on behalf of you. Your physical body is a result of your parent's time and energy, and of course their wealth. That is also a dowry you have been given. Is that not enough dear Dhamma friends? So you have to protect your life as property given by your parents.

5. Ata ca pana petanam kalakatanam dakkhinam anupadassami
When one's parents die he/she has to give alms by memorizing them and transmit merit. Since you have been practicing it always, you have much experience. Dhamma Friends, don't be careless that you have to recite the Idam me natinam... verse loudly when you pass merits to your relations. It not only poring water is important but specially in Dhamma it is mentioned that aspect too. Be mindful about it.

These five aspects, must be performed towards one's parents. If not, the Buddha said he is a Vasala or outcas according to Vasal Sutta. In Parabhava sutta the Buddha said that if one is neglecting their parents, will never live a prosperous life. He will definitely decline in this life and the next.



Because parent have done lot, on behalf of children. That means still children have debt on their parents although they have done the above said five duties. So how we can free from this debt? Is there a way to get rid of parent's debt? Fortunately Yes. Then my dear Dhamma friends, let me telll you how to get rid of parents debts.

A one of the discourse in Anguttara Nikaya, the Buddha has explained and shown they way to repay one's parents. Namely they are Saddha, Dana, Sila and Bhavan.

These five aspects have to cultivate in parent's mind, if they don't have these virtue. If they already have these aspects, the child has a duty to help them to continue and improve more on these virtues.

Saddha: Let's take the first aspect. Saddha in pali literally means confidence (or faith). It is not believe of devotion. We tend to believe something, if we don't understand it. Devotion is nothing but afraid. One should have confidence on the Buddha, the Dhamma, the Sangha, Kamma and Kamma Vipaka. If one has saddha taught as mental state one can perform lot of meritorious acts naturally. That is why the Buddha, uttered this aspect as first and to imrprove it first.

To improve the confidence on the the Buddha the Dhamma and the Sangha first of all they have to know about the Buddha. To know about the Buddha on has to visit the religious places like Buddhist temples. Then one will come to know, who the Buddha is. Then they start to develop Saddha.

Confidence on Kamma: Kamma Literally means action of deed. The ultimate sense is good and bad volition. According to buddhisum, volition is the Kamma. "Cetanaham bhikkawe kammam wadami." Every volitional action, except that of a Buddha or an Arahat is called. Kamma is accumulated because of passion. We have passion. So we generate Kamma which is to be resulted perhaps in future. Anyway Kamma is not fated. It is one's own doing which reacts on one's own self. It is therefore possible for us to divert the cause of Kamma.

Confidence on Kamma Vipaka: Kamma, as you already know, and than Vipaka means fruit. So Kamma Vipaka means the fruit action or the result or the reaction. I think, the relationship between the the Kamma and Kamma Vipaka is clear. Because of Kamma the Kamma Vipaka is generated. "Every action has a reaction." What we reap today, is what we have sown before. That may be either action in present or action in the past. Good beget good. Bad beget bad. These are truths. Very natural and nobody is controlling or ruling these natu
ral truths. So, that is Kamma and Kamma Vipaka.

If one acknowledge their unfaithful parents on faith or confident, he/she is completing an aspect, that lead to get rid of parent's debt.

Dana: The second aspect. Dana means giving or gifting or releasing or relinquishing of one's own property. "Among, gift which is the best?", "The gift of the Dhamma excels all gifts." Why? Dhamma Dana will improve or develop the receivers mind and that mental improvement will remain until the end of sansaric journey. Therefore Dhamma Dana is a the best Dana one can perform. Through such charity or generosity, one can reduce craving, attachment or other selfish motives from the mind. And cultivate and develop the great virtue like amity, compassion, and sympathetic joy and wisdom by relinquishing. In practically gifting with Saddha, one experience extreme happiness or joy withing him. Not only in one's heart, but all over the body. If one can experience that feeling, there is a tendency to give more and more. If one can make one's parents to experience, that kind of happiness, that is the best way to repay them. If one has stingy parents, he/she has the responsibility to improve his/her parents the charitable attitude toward others.

So, if one does so, he/she is completing the second aspect that lead to free from parents debt.


Sila: This is the third aspect. Sila means morality or moral practice. Sila lead to knowledge of wisdom. "Sukham yawa jara silam" (Naga vagga- Dhammapada). It is good to have virtur till old age. Some parents are killing animals and stealing and bad behavior or sexual misbehavior and lying and slandering and speaking hash words and taking frivolous words and take liquor or something toxicate. If so, the child has a duty to establish his/her parents on morality.

So if one establishes his/her parents on sila he/she is completing the third aspect that lead to free from parents debt.

Bhavana: The last aspect is Bhavana or the knowledge or experiencing the teaching. To experience the Dhamma, one has to have Dhamma knowledge. Dhamma means doctrine of the Buddha. The nature is Dhamma. The truth is Dhamma. One can improve this aspect on their parents by giving Dhamma books, tapes, CDs, etc... Taking to the places where Dhamma is preaching also helps, Dhamma to be improved. If one knows the Dhamma he/she can expound Dhamma. There no problem.

So if one helps to increase the Dhamma knowledge then, he/she is completing the last aspect that lead to free from parents debt. If one can establish all these four aspects his/her parents definitely he/she will free from his/her parents'' debt. Why? If one helps his/her parent in this way he/she is helping the parent s to attain Nibbana the exteme hppiness. Actually these four aspects are really helping one to free from Samsara, by developing one's mind. In other words, if a child can help his/her parents to get rid of Samsara that is the best duty one can do, towards one's parents. And also he is the best person on the earth. He is praised by the Buddha. He is a righteous man or Sappurisa.


Blessings;
Dear Dhamma friends, you have listen to the Dhamma peacefully. Of course, it is kind of a meditation. You have collected lot of merits. Then we'll pass the merits to the relations who have passed away and may they be well and happy with all these merits and may they attain Nibbana! And also let the Deva be happy with these merits and attain nibbana too! Sadu! Sadu! Sadu!


With these all merits may you be in good health! May your life span to be grown! Your color and health and strength and power wisdom to be grown! May your amity to be grown! May your compassion and Sympathetic joy and morality and concentration and knowledge to be grown! May you be comfortable physically and mentally and may your wishes be succeeded! and May you find the path to the purity. May you all attain Nibbana! Thank you Very much!


Thursday the 5th May 2011,
a Dhamma talk made by,

T. Sugata nanda Himi
at Sri Lanka Buddhist Temple
Sentul, MALAYSIA






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